Scars
by yellowsocks
Summary: I needed to talk to her, but I couldn't put myself out there again. Not for her.Nathan keeps pushing her away, but she just keeps coming back.Oneshot Songfic. [Rathan & Routh]


**A/N: Okay, so I wrote this before watching the finale, but these are the things I wanted to see happen!  
Let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the song Scars by Papa Roach, or One Tree Hill, sadly.**

* * *

**Scars**

"To the graduating class of '07!" I heard her scream while she stood on top of the coffee table. Drink in hand, I watched her leap off the table, and run towards me.  
"Hey Nathan." She smiled.  
"Rachel..." I sighed clutching my own glass tightly.  
"No, Nathan can we talk?" She asked, biting her lip nervously.  
And I wanted to say yes, believe me I did, but I couldn't bring myself to do that. I needed to talk to her, but I couldn't put myself out there again. Not for her.

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut.  
__My weakness is, that I care too much.  
__My scars remind me, that the past is real.  
__I tear my heart open, just to feel._

"At least listen to what I have to say?" She continued when I didn't reply.  
I gave in. Just like I always do. I followed her up the stairs, feeling somewhat used.We walked into an empty bedroom, and I made my way to the end of the bed, sitting on the floor and leaning up against it. She sat cross legged in front of the door, once she had closed it. Neither of us seemed to be able to find any words to say to the other. What do you say to someone who tried to steal you from your wife and who had slept with your uncle?

There are no words to say.

_Drunk and I'm feeling down  
__And I just want to be alone  
__I'm pissed cause you came around  
__Why don't you just go home?_

"I love you." Rachel whispered, the tears fogging up her eyes.  
"Rachel, we've been down this road before." I sighed, not wanting to upset her. "It's not going to work."  
"Nathan please, I spent these last three months away from Tree Hill, and there wasn't a moment that you weren't on my mind. You are the reason I came back, the reason I'm staying, and the reason I'm alive." Rachel pleaded.  
"Rachel, I have a wife and a kid, who I love more than words can say. They're my life and they always will be. Nothing can change."  
"But what about me? Don't I count? I'm dying here, Nathan and you're the only one who can save me." She breathed.

_Cause you channel all your pain  
__And I can't help you fix yourself  
__You're making me insane, all I can say is  
__I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut  
__And my weakness is, that I care too much._

"Rachel, you can't guilt me into this. I'm MARRIED, damn it." I said. "And the old me, would have left Haley in a heartbeat."  
Rachel looked into my eyes, as if she was hoping to see something there. Some hope. Anything.  
"But I'm not the old me, Rachel. Thanks to Haley, I'm someone that my boy will be proud of one day." I smiled weakly, "And if I left Haley, I'd never be able to forgive myself.  
Rachel looked away, the pain evident in her face. I hated hurting her like this, but it was the only way to get through to her.  
"I think..." Rachel began, but she couldn't seem to find the strength to finish.

_And our scars remind us,  
__That the past is real.  
__I tear my heart open,  
__Just to feel._

I stood up slowly, walking over to her and offering her my hand. She looked up at me but shook her head, and looked away once again.  
"You know, Rach'. There are plenty of guys out there, that would kill for you to love them." I breathed. "I'm just not one of them."  
Rachel picked herself up, and wrapped her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly.  
"I'm really sorry, Nate." She whispered softly into my ear.  
"It's okay," I said.  
She let go slowly, and I knew it was the last thing she wanted to do. I knew she still wanted to spend forever in my arms, but at least she knew now that she couldn't.  
"I'll never forget you Nathan." She whispered, leaning against the door. "You'll always have a place in my heart."  
I nodded softly, "But at least let someone else in."

_I tried to help you once  
Against my own advice  
I saw you going down  
But you never realized  
That you're drowning in the water  
So I offered you my hand  
Compassions in my nature  
Tonight is our last stand_

Just then, as if on cue, there was a knock at the door.  
"Rachel?" We heard a voice call from the other side, "You in there?"  
Rachel raised an eyebrow, but turned to open the door.  
The moment it was opened, in tumbled Mouth.  
"Look we need to..." Mouth began but then he saw me and stopped dead in his tracks. "Oh hi, Nathan."  
"Hey Mouth." I laughed. "I'll just be leaving..."  
"No. Wait, stay. It'll only take a minute." Mouth said.  
I raised my eyebrows in confusion and watched as Mouth turned to Rachel.

_I tear my heart open,  
__I sew myself shut.  
__And my weakness is,  
__that I care too much._

"I have spent the last year of my life chasing you Rachel. And I'm sick of it. I'm not running after you anymore. I'm done with it." Mouth said.  
Rachel frowned, looking upset.  
"I'm not going to chase you Rachel, because I'm not letting you leave anymore. You're staying right here with me. Because I love you Rachel Gatina, and that's never going to change."  
And with that, he kissed her. With me as his witness, Mouth McFadden kissed the girl he was going to love from now until forever.

_And our scars remind us,  
__that the past is real.  
__I tear my heart open,  
__just to feel._


End file.
